Nobody wants to fight every day. I want to say that plainly, because so much of what gets written for women in the middle of starting over, a new relationship, divorce, custody battle, single motherhood assumes she needs to be handed another weapon, another document or another reason to brace herself. And of course, we need those things — I’ve dedicated my time to building items/products to giving those to her. To assist in her journey of Becoming Her
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” — Jeremiah 29:11, KJV
But products, prep sheets, journals and everything else are not what get a woman through the valley. They can be what gets her through the fight inside the valley. What gets her through the valley itself is something else entirely: the ability to see past it. The ability to trust Father’s promise.
I prayed something last night I want to tell you about. I said, Father, because I am Your servant, because I am Your warrior, your daughter and hound. I am Yours to do with as You please — I will fight every single day if that is what You ask of me. I don’t want to. But I will. Because I Am Yours. I trust Him to turn me into my best version of me, the daughter of the King, the one becoming her
That prayer was honest. It was hard, but it was the Truth. But let me just tell you that it was also not the whole truth of what carries me. What carries me on the days I don’t want to fight is not the willingness to keep fighting. It’s the memory — no, more than memory, the vision — of what is waiting for me when the fighting is done.
A better home. A better life for my son. A version of myself who isn’t calculating bills every second, who isn’t bracing for the next message, who isn’t living inside a body that has forgotten what rest feels like. That vision is not denial. It is not pretending the valley isn’t real. Whew, because sis Psalm 23 is real. It is the thing Scripture calls hope, and hope is not naive — hope is a discipline, the same as preparation is a discipline, and a woman needs both to actually survive this season instead of merely enduring it.
Jeremiah 29:11 was written to a people in exile, in the middle of genuine loss, not after it. God did not wait until Babylon released them to tell them He had plans for their peace. He told them while they were still there, still captive, still years from the ending they couldn’t see yet. That is the same word for you right now. Not after you reach the end. Not after the hearing. Not after the cheque arrives. Not after the ruling. But Now, in the middle of it, while it is still hard and still unresolved.
You are not just surviving this hardship. You are becoming someone on the other side of it — a woman who knows how to prepare, yes, but also a woman who knows how to hope, how to see past the fight to the actual life waiting for her once the fight is finished. Both things are true at once for you. And both things are necessary.
So here is what I want you to do today, alongside whatever preparation and documents this season requires: spend five minutes imagining the life, no SEEING the life on the other side. Not vaguely. Specifically. Smell the grass, smell the coffee, smell the chorine from the pool in the back yard, literally smell the roses from your garden (that the kids keep stepping on). What does your home feel like? What does your child’s laugh sound like when nothing is hanging over either of you? What does a Tuesday look like when it isn’t a battle for you?
Write it down the way you’d write down an exchange record — dated, specific, real. Habakkuk 2:2. Write the vision
That vision is not a distraction from the fight. It’s GOD’s promise. It is the reason to keep fighting well.
You are becoming her. Let this season teach you what to leave behind and this vision show you what you are walking toward.
I built Empowering Single Parents, a guided journal for exactly this season.
[Explore Empowering Single Parents]
I built the Custody Preparation Documentation Kit for the fight itself.
[Explore The Complete Court Prep Document Kit]
Stay faithful, stay discipline, and stay loyal.
With love and fire,
V.S. Beals
Writer. Watchwoman. Woman of the Word.
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